


Rediscover

by Sasako_Haise



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst, CCG Kaneki Ken, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Shironeki | White-haired Kaneki Ken
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:48:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27991770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sasako_Haise/pseuds/Sasako_Haise
Summary: Sasaki Haise learning to live through the CCG, and discovering that family is more than blood bonds. Starts with his first meeting with the Quinx.AU where he gets his memories back sooner and stays with the CCG.
Relationships: Amon Koutarou & Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Arima Kishou & Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise & Kirishima Touka, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise & Mado Akira, Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise & Nagachika Hideyoshi, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 9
Kudos: 44





	Rediscover

**Author's Note:**

> I updated this and changed a few things because someone informed me that I had some facts wrong. I'm trying to write a new chapter, but school's a bitch, so it might take time.

It was around midday, and Haise was busy. He had been given a rather difficult task. Not in the sense that he was to fight a strong ghoul, but that he had to sit at a desk and find the man(things)’s location. It was proving to take longer than expected, and Sasaki had always (well, for the past two years that he remembered) been more of a man of action than someone who sat at a desk(even though he loved to read). The longer he worked, the harder it got to focus. 

He leaned back in his chair, covered his eyes and groaned. “Why me?”, he whispered in his hands. 

There was a dark chuckle from behind him, and he immediately darted up, looking around to find the source of the noise. He turned around, and saw a man. A man with white hair, and deadish eyes. He glanced back at his desk for a second, only to find it wasn’t there. He was... well, he had no idea where he was. The floor was checkered, like a chess board, but with blood covering the it in splatters, and it was as if the room extended forever, no walls in sight. Haise turned back to the man, only to find him sitting on a chair. 

Sasaki studied him for a few moments, noting things in his head. He was not, in fact, sitting on the chair; he was chained to it. His head was bowed down, hair covering his eyes. His finger and toenails were blackened, as if they had died long ago, but the colour had never grown out. And, most terrifyingly, his face bore a strong resemblance to Haise’s own. 

Suddenly, the man looked up, grey eyes glinting with cruel mirth. “Hey, Sasaki”, he mocked in a cold, gravely voice, as if he had been screaming for hours. 

His voice startled Haise, who jumped and reached his hand out subconsciously for his quinque which was clearly not there. The fully white-haired man shook his head, clicking his tongue as if scolding a child, his hands and feet suddenly free of the restraints, leaving only the cuffs stuck on his pale limbs. 

“There’s nothing there, Haise. It’s just you and me.” He got up, stretched, and started walking forward towards Haise, who was frozen in fear. “Let’s start with introductions. I,” he pointed at himself with a scarred hand. Sasaki registered in the back of his head, that he had those same scars, the ones that looked so horrible that he often wore gloves and was never seen without socks, on his hands, but his were much fainter. When he had fist seen them, he knew what they were from. Torture. It looked as if someone had cut of all his fingers and toes multiple times. It had scared him, and he always avoided looking at the appendages with the marks. 

The man brought him back to the present by finishing his introduction. “I am Kaneki Ken. You, as you know, are Haise Sasaki. And you were me.” 

A hand touched his shoulder, and he jumped, twirling on the spot. He blinked, and the scene was gone. He was back at his desk, everything looking the same. The person who had shaken him from... whatever that was, was Akira Mado. She looked at him with concern in her eyes, not that many would be able to tell, but Sasaki could. 

“You alright, Haise? You looked really out of it.” So, he had never really gone anywhere. It was all in his head. But, then, who was this Ken Kaneki? 

“I-I’m alright, Akira. Thanks though,” he said, rather distantly. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was really shaken. Was he going crazy? Was this some kind of side affect from the thing that made him loose his memories? Were these hallucinations going to happen again? He shuddered at the idea that he would have to meet Kaneki again. And what did he mean by “you were me”? Was... was Kaneki a part of his past? 

“Seriously, Sasaki, do you need a medic? You’re really pale.” Akira was looking openly concerned, which was a first, and probably meant that Haise looked really bad. 

“I’m sure, I’m alright. Don’t worry too much,” he tried to joke lightly, with a small smile, which was about all he could manage at the moment. 

Akira obviously saw through his efforts, but returned the smile with a small smirk. “As if I’d worry about you. Don’t get too big of a head now. Oh,” she said. “I forgot. I’m supposed to take you to the meeting room.” 

Sasaki startled a bit at that, asking quickly, “What for?” Akira just shrugged and began out the door, gesturing for him to follow. 

Sasaki nervously trailed after her, wondering if he had finally messed up badly enough to be put down. He had lost control recently, so it would make sense. 

He had been on a mission, and during the fight, he had suddenly felt like his head was splitting in half. It was as if something else was trying to take over his body and force him out. It had been terrifying, to say the least. Haise had barely even registered that his kagune had burst out and that he was collapsed on the sidewalk, clutching his head and screaming in agony. After what felt like an eternity, there was a whooshing noise, and it centred him enough to be able to lift his head to see where it came from, but before he even registered anything, a sword cut off his kagune, while another dug into his side. 

That hadn’t been the first occurrence either, so maybe CCG was sick of cleaning up after a “half, one-eyed ghoul”. That’s what they all called him, after all. He knew, because, whenever the few people who he trusted and who trusted him weren’t around, they all addressed him as that. 

It hurt, despite the number of times he had been called that. He would always subtly flinch when being called the very thing he helped hunt down and kill. It still hurt, because he couldn’t argue it. He had no idea who he really was. After all, Sasaki Haise was just a name Arima had come up with for him. 

He knew he was different from the Quinx, as the idea had been based around him, but altered. He not a ghoul, either, because of his Rc levels, and different organs. He still had to eat human flesh, though, and that was probably the worst of it. He got the food CCG fed the prisoners in Cochlea. The Quinx, on the other hand, could eat human food, and the only thing about them that was ghoul was the kagune sack surgically implanted in them, which gave them the ability to use kagune. 

Internally, Haise envied them. The group who had been turned into Quinx were rarely talked badly of, and they could enjoy all the delicacies of food, while Sasaki was shunned and scorned by most who met him. He didn’t know about his past, but he was sure it had happened then, too. He had always wondered why no one had come looking for him, no friends or family, or even other ghouls. There was no way he hadn’t had anyone in his life, because he needed other people’s support. It was part of his nature. So they must have abandoned him. 

A voice he had heard so many times, but had never known what to think of. One that sounded much like the man in his head, Kaneki, spoke in his ear. “They hated me. That means they hate you, too.” Sasaki quietly put all his willpower into forcing the voice away, into some deep corner of his mind that was unreachable. 

He was shaken from his own thoughts by a hand being placed on his shoulder again, making him flinch. He found himself and Akira standing in front of their boss’s door, while the latter looked at him worriedly for the third time that day. “Are you sure you’re doing alright, Haise? You look really unwell. We can postpone the meeting till tomorrow.”

Sasaki tore his arm away from her a little harsher than necessary. “I’m fine, Mado! I told you that already!”, he practically spat. 

One of Akira’s eyebrows had climbed steadily higher during his short burst of anger, and it was now nearing her hairline.  
“Well, now I know something’s definitely wrong. You’ve never yelled like that at me before, nor have you called me “Mado” since I told you not to.” 

Haise put a hand over his mouth, eyes wide. “I-“, he started, terrified that she was angry, but was interrupted. “Don’t worry about it. Sometimes, we all have to vent a bit, but you, Haise, you just keep bottling it up. It’s bound to come out eventually. But it’s fine, as long as you don’t call me Mado again. Let’s have the meeting, and then we can talk.” Sasaki wordlessly nodded, although he knew her words were wrong. No, he did not have to vent, because he didn’t have the right to. He had been given a second chance, despite whatever his life might have been before, and it would be ungrateful of him to rant about that. And this was not because of bottled up emotions, because there were no emotions to bottle up. No, he was perfectly fine, and he was sure of that. 

(Not that he would ever tell Akira that, for fear of getting another famous Mado punch.)

This outburst had been caused by sudden anger. Anger at everything in the world, hate and contempt towards existence. These were not his feelings, they must have been Kaneki’s. Sasaki had to find a way to block him out, if the effects were already showing after meeting him for the fist time. 

“Come on, they’re waiting for us.” The two opened the door, Haise still fearing the worst was to come, but instead, the doorway revealed his boss, Itsuki Marude, and the Quinx squad, all staring back at him. 

Confusion took root in his mind, almost making him forget his salutations, but luckily, Akira took the lead. “Akira Mado, reporting.” Sasaki, too, crossed his arms behind his back and introduced himself. “Sasaki Haise, reporting.” 

At this, the Quinx, who were a lot younger than he had expected, startled, and looked him up and down, no doubt comparing him to the stories they had heard. 

It didn’t bother Sasaki nearly as much as it would have a month ago. He had gotten used to weird looks, or staring, either in the general public, because of his two-toned hair (which he could do nothing about, it seemed the white couldn’t be dyed), or at CCG, because of what he was, or, when someone met him for the first time, feeling underwhelmed by his presence, opposed to the stories they had heard. 

Sasaki knew he didn’t look threatening, at least, not when he didn’t want to. He had heard tales of when he lost control, and about how his calm, kind demeanour had completely changed into an angry, crazed, snarling beast. Those were usually the tales that went around about him, the one-eyed ghoul, not about how he had helped his team or other investigators, or about the ghouls he had taken down. 

The Quinx, who were made up of three guys and one girl, all openly stared at him, looking more curious than anything, except one with triangle eyes and black hair, who watched him as if assessing him from inside out. 

Haise was confused. Why were the Quinx in a meeting with him? So far, he had had no interactions with the group, opting to stay as far away as possible, so as not to cast them in a darker light. He guessed his efforts had payed off, seeing as no one ever really compared them to him, since they only had one ghoul characteristic, their kagune, and they had no need to consume human flesh. 

So, how come they were standing in the same room as him now? His question was quickly answered by his boss, Itsuki Marude, who began explaining the situation, getting straight to the point. 

“Quinx squad, associate investigator Sasaki, you have been brought here to announce your new positions.” Haise startled at that. He had no expected a change in position, unless he was being demoted. But it appeared he was not, going by the fact that Marude was not extremely happy, and the presence of the Quinx. 

Speaking of which, they all looked rather uncomfortable in the room with such a formal authority figure. After all, the group appeared to be rather young, especially the girl, who looked completely and utterly innocent, if tired and half asleep. She reminded Haise of someone he knew, a girl... Something tugged at the corner of his mind, but he pushed it away in favour of listening to what else Marude had to say about this change in position. 

“Sasaki, the higher ups have decided to assign you your own squad. I obviously advised them that it was the wrong choice, but I was outvoted.” 

Haise was beyond shocked. This was not what he had expected at all. Why was he getting his own squad? He had done nothing to deserve that, and on top of it, what humans would want to be around him, a half-ghoul, all the time? 

As he stood frozen in his shock, Marude snorted at his reaction and turned to the Quinx, who had yet to catch on. “As of today, you will become a formal squad, and you have been assigned a mentor and leader.” 

Oh no. Haise caught on to what was happening, and it appeared that one of the Quinx had as well, triangle-eyes, from the murderous look in his eyes. 

“You can’t be serious, sir! Why is that... that ghoul going to be our leader and mentor?! He’s nothing like us! He’s more ghoul than human!” This outburst was caused by the boy, and he was still glaring at Sasaki. 

Haise flinched minutely at being called a ghoul, and then once again, a bit harder, when he was accused of being more ghoul than human. That stung for sure, especially coming from a Quinx, who had something in common with him. In all fairness, though, they didn’t know him and had probably only heard the stories of how he decimated his enemies and how he had lost control a few times and attacked his fellow investigators. 

Triangle eyes, as well as the other Quinx, noticed this and frowned for a second before continuing his rant. Sasaki decided to tune out the loud, angry voice, and instead survey the rest of what was going to be his squad soon. 

They couldn’t be more than 18 years of age, rather young to be a part of the CCG. Triangle-eyes was clearly their leader, as it was obvious he would never tolerate being bossed around. He looked rather strong, and could probably hold his own well enough for someone his age. 

The other boy, one with shark-teeth and spiky hair, was giving Sasaki an apologetic look, but was still slightly wary. He seemed rather kind, and Haise determined that he probably joked around a lot, but could keep a cool head in serious situations. That would be something to test later. He moved on to the next member of his new squad. 

She was a young girl, incredibly short and it looked like she was sleeping while standing. No, she was sleeping. Haise cracked a small smile at that. The girl didn’t look like much, with her height as it was, and she seemed rather pudgy, probably hated exercise. Her blue hair was well kept, while the rest of her appearance looked as if she had just rolled out of bed. Maybe she had. 

The fourth member of the odd assembly was a young man looking at his feet. He was clearly too shy to look any of the adults in the eyes, but he held himself with confidence. From this, Haise gathered that he lacked confidence in his abilities, but still held a good amount of pride. 

Sasaki sighed. He hoped that they introduced themselves soon, because he needed names to assign to his assessments. Triangle-eyes was still shouting about having Sasaki as his mentor and leader, not even paying attention to the fact that the adults in the room were no longer paying attention. 

After what seemed like an age, Marude cut him off, addressing Sasaki. “Sasaki, your duties as squad leader and mentor started the moment I informed you, so feel free to discipline 2nd grade Urie for insubordination and disrespect towards his commanding officer.” Haise was astounded. For as long as he remembered, (which was only about a year) Marude had always been rude to him, belittling his abilities and calling him names like they were in grade school. It had never bothered Sasaki too much, seeing as it was never something to do with him being a half-ghoul, but whenever someone said something about that in front of Marude, he never said anything against it. That had been a bit more painful, but he learnt to accept it, and be grateful that Marude didn’t call him those things himself. 

That’s why, when triangle-eyes (Haise now knew that his name was Urie because of Marude) was insulting him, he didn’t expect Marude to do anything, but instead he was given the chance to discipline the boy for his actions. Sasaki knew that it was more likely that Marude just hated the boy and wanted any reason to give him punishment, but it still made him fell warm and tingly inside. It was nice to have someone other than his close friends to shut up someone insulting him. 

In his surprise, he had forgotten to answer Marude, and he had just been standing there with his mouth hanging open. It was only when Akira cleared her throat rather pointedly that he snapped out of it. 

“Well, I don’t want to start off that way, Marude-san, so there’s no need for that. What I would like is for us to all introduce our selves since I don’t know any of your names.” He said all that with a light smile on his face, hoping to convey that he wasn’t some scary monster everyone made him out to be. It seemed to work, as all the Quinx, including triangle eyes and the sleepy one, turned to stare at him, mouths gaping and eyes wide. Akira and Marude just rolled their eyes, seeing his typical behaviour and not expecting anything else. 

He had never been one to dole out punishment, and would avoid it unless absolutely necessary. The only thing he couldn’t stand was if someone willing put their comrades in danger by refusing to back down from a fight, too prideful for their own good. It was one thing to let yourself get hurt because of stubbornness, but to endanger others was a whole other story. Sadly, Haise had encountered no small number of such people in CCG, since most people working there had joined to get revenge on ghouls for killing their loved ones. They would jump int action, too blinded by rage to see their comrades in arms going down because of their actions. Sasaki found that such people shouldn’t be given a role in the operation, as they were likely to get more comrades killed that the ghouls they took down. 

His eyes crinkled as he smiled at the young group, pushing those thoughts away. “Let’s get to know each other first.”


End file.
